there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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