do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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