i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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