I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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