And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
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