yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...