Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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