she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
