not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
