Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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