i don't like sucking hair
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
