Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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