totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
