Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
