If i come over, it means nothing
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
