If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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