Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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