Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's even glitter on my cock...
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