Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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