that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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