Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
