never play flip cup with pint glasses
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's get the cat blown out
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
