She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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