I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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