so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
