where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i think my mom watched the whole time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
