Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
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Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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