Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
