He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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