try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
