the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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