There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
