tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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