Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
