I look better un-naked...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
