Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
