is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize