We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
