that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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