is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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