I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
