I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
