Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
