well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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