Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
