I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
