The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
