i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize