on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't notice because vodka
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
