please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
