how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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