He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
