i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
