Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
