U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
