his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize