It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
