As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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