piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
