Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Enjoy the penises
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
