Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
