He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
