we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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