Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
